The Things We Live For
by fwuzzfwuzz
Summary: So what’s the task, in this different reality, Harry asked.I want you to find the next dark lord and eliminate him, before he becomes one. Said the man. You mean kill asked Harry, shocked.“Eliminate sounds nicer, don’t you think?”
1. The Things We Die For

The young man stood there in the battlefield, bodies strewn across the plains. His face worn, he looked older than he should be; he saw more things than anyone should have seen. Tears falling from his face, as another death had befallen him, many deaths actually. He was bruised and bleeding, his robes were torn, and great sadness all around him. His heart so heavy, his hands were shaking, all his energy gone.

The world was all smiles ad laughter, all celebrating. While one sat in the battlefield of dead bodies, no one there for him, no one to hug him and say he finally did it. No parent figure to say they were proud of him. While the world was smiling, he was crying. While there was laughter, he was hurting, wile there were tears of joy, he gave tears of anguish.

The young man was Harry potter, he was seventeen years old, it was supposed to be his last year at Hogwarts, but it was just a battle, a year of many deaths. He fell to his knees not caring about his surroundings, filled with unspeakable grief, as deaths past through his face. He watched the closest people die; no one was left, except a few teachers and what was left of the Weasley. But the ones he had given part of his heart to, died. They flashed over and over across his face. Like a never-ending dream. Why didn't they leave, why didn't they listen to him! Why did they continue to get close to him?

Ron to bloody stubborn to give up their friendship, Hermione's bloody tears made him, Harry potter, stay friends with her. He made Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, parental figures in his life. Why didn't they listen, they should have left when they could! Why did he cave in, why was his greed for love better than someone's life.

They died, on after the other.

Sirius, his Godfather, he was the father he never had.

_He fell through the veil, shock written all over his face. Harry wanted nothing but to run through the veil and grab him out. But Remus stopped him, Remus was protecting him but it felt like betrayal, it felt as if Remus was letting his die, Why was it always the people he loved, WHY! Grief poured on Harry as he screamed Sirius' name repeatedly._

_He wasn't supposed to go, he was supposed to live!_

Remus, he was the firm rock when Sirius died, a mentor like none other.

_Remus looks at Harry with grim determination, there were at least 20 deatheaters, Harry looked at him pleading with my eyes._

"_Remus you can't go, stay here! This is my job!" Harry screamed. He continued to stare at Harry._

"_Harry, I will never forgive myself if you die when I could've saved you, you can't go out there alone, as long as I breathe, I'll always be by your side." He said with such great sincerity, tears streaming down his face Harry gave one last look to someone he saw as a third father, he was hesitant but nodded slowly. They both walked out throwing curses left and right. They fought side by side with great speed and passion, till there were not any deatheaters. Except one, one they didn't notice._

_Suddenly Wormtail grabbed Remus' throat, with his silver hand, and started to choke him, Harry saw Remus and ran to him pushing Pettigrew away._

"_Remus! Remus! Please don't leave me, please!" He cried. Remus smiled looked alarm, He grabbed his wand and stunned Pettigrew behind Harry, who was about to kill him. Harry looked at him with a mix of agony and thankfulness. Remus grabbed Harry's hand and looked at him with tears in his eyes._

"_I love you, Harry, make me proud." He said with his last dying breath. Harry cried for all he was worth, Remus even kept his promise; he stood by Harry even with his last breath. With that thought he screamed a heart-wrenching scream_.

Ron, a stubborn git of a friend, but loyal to the bone.

_Harry was lying on the floor, blood flowing out of his head. He was kidnapped by deatheaters. Suddenly a deatheater came in, looking nervous. Well as much as Harry could tell with the mask on him. Abruptly the deatheater took off his mask, it was Ron._

"_What are you doing?" Harry whispered harshly, Ron was pale but looked determined._

"_To save you of course!" said Ron, "I may be an insufferable git sometimes, but I'll never let you die." He said. He helped Harry up; Harry staggered, too dizzy to walk. They were only there for a minute, until Out of nowhere a dozen deatheaters appeared. They tried to fight them off, but there were too many. Ron yelled something and threw a sock at Harry. It was a port key, taking him away, he desperately wanted to stay, be with Ron, not let him die, and he tried to claw myself out of the magic. Right before he left, he saw a Green light hit Ron, after that he landed in front of Hogwarts, grief-stricken._

Hermione, beautiful, smart, ingenious, his best friend, the one he let cry on his shoulder when her boyfriend died. The one that locked him into a room, to get him to open up.

_Harry watched her through a vision. Hermione was being held captive with Bellatrix. _

"_Tell me girl, who is Harry's secret keeper!" she yelled. Hermione glared at her, Bellatrix slapped across the face._

"_Tell me!" she screamed._

"_I am, if you're so interested!" she yelled, He couldn't believe his ears, and what was she doing, why didn't she say someone else!_

"_Then where is his location!" Bellatrix roared. _

"_What makes you think I'll tell you?" Hermione screeched._

"_Tell me or die!" cried Bellatrix._

"_I'd rather die than betray Harry, He's all I've got, I can't lose him!" she exclaimed._

"_Well in that case, Avada Kedarva!" she yelled, a green light sped to Hermione. Harry watch horrified, he grasped his heart as if was being taken out. Hermione looked him directly in the eye, as if she could see him._

"_I love you Harry." Hermione whispered right before she was hit, she died right in front of Harry. Harry woke up from his vision, wanting nothing more than to die._

Dumbledore, all knowing, always there, the one who taught him everything, and did everything in his ability to make life easier.

_It was the last battle, the final one. They had a plan, Both Harry and Dumbledore together. They had a spell they would use together; they would use it to win. Voldemort appeared. He said a few nasty things, causing Harry to get angry, Dumbledore remained calm, but his eyes were blazing._

"_Are you ready Harry? This might kill either one of us, or both of us." Dumbledore said softly. Harry nodded, he had nothing to lose. They both took out their wands put their full trust in each other and cried out._

"_Letum Enim Vita!" (Death for life) they both said at the same time, Dumbledore fell to the ground, Voldemort screamed and disintegrated, Harry watched in horror, with a gleam of triumph. He went to hug Dumbledore when he saw him crumpled on the floor. _

"_No, no, no, no, PLEASE NO! Anyone, but him, anyone!" Harry thought, trying to frantically get Dumbledore off the ground, to blinded by tears to get very far._

_Dumbledore smiled, grief engraved in his face and said his last words. _

"_It's finished." He said, closed his eyes and rested. Harry fell to ground in grief; he lost it all, all of it._

Voldemort's dead, his followers are dead or captured. They won, but why does it feel like defeat. Everyone close to him died. Hagrid died trying to hard to get the giants to join, Ginny died from an explosion at Hogwarts, everyone he loved dearly died in front of his eyes.

He stood there, his destiny finished, his life ahead of him. He felt energy drain from him. He couldn't take it anymore, all the pain and hurt, he didn't have strength to live, and he couldn't live. After all that happened, what was the point, it was practically over for him. He watched as blood flowed from him, he saw the cold body of Dumbledore right next to him. He wondered if there was an afterlife, He wished for someone to go to, for someone to comfort him, but it was all over.

He looked around, his breath ragged; he laid himself on the floor. All gone, nothing here for him anymore, nothing left to live for, nothing left to fight for, but there are still things to die for.

Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived, savior of the wizarding world, star seeker, defeater of Voldemort, died.

* * *

He woke up to a bright place, with an old man standing over him. A very, very old man., with the longest beard in the universe. Harry got up slowly, he thought he died, this was confusing. Why did he still ache, wasn't the afterlife supposed to be good, no pain.

Harry got up slowly and took a look around, it was bright all right, and very err….white.

"Welcome to limbo, Mr. Potter, there are thing we need to discuss." The man said.

Harry nodded, not really in the mood, but decided to go along with it.

"You could've still lived Mr. Potter, you didn't have to die." Said the man. Harry snorted.

"Oh yeah, and live to wallow in my grief with nothing to do, see everyone celebrate while I have nothing. Nothing to gain, nothing to live for. NOTHING!" he said, gradually getting angrier.

"It would seem so, would it not? I believe I have a proposition for you, something that will make life worth living." Said the man. Harry looked at him incredulously.

"All the galleons in the world would make me want to live life again, why can't I just go to the afterlife, like everyone else!" he said.

"I'm sure you would agree with my plans for you but I will answer your question though. You've set the universe off balance, there is balance of the universe, a balance of good and evil, the most powerful wizard on each reality are the key players to the balance. You, Dumbledore, and Voldemort. Voldemort and Dumbledore were supposed to die, you were supposed to live, and it sets things off balance, now we need to fix it again." Said the man.

"What does that have to do with me?" Harry said, clearly irritated.

"That's my next proposition; I'm going to send you to a different reality, another dimension, to complete a task. You may think that you will not benefit from this, but you will. Everyone dear to you that died in your reality will be placed in this reality, they all have agreed to this. They have been sent a few hours prior. I have appointed Sirius and Remus as you guardians there. Lily and James potter are there but they believe you, Sirius and Remus to be dead. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Dumbledore are merging with their counterparts. You will be younger, in your third year, thirteen years old, there will be students you recognize, and students you don't. Be careful and cautious; do not give away your identity. Would you like to do this Harry?" said the man.

Harry looked at him shocked, all his friends and family back, Heck yeah! Wait, what is this task, what does it have to do with balance.

"So what's the task, in this different reality, that you want me to do?" Harry asked.

'I want you to find the next dark lord and eliminate him." Said the old man.

'You mean kill?' asked Harry, shocked.

"Eliminate sounds nicer, don't you think?"

"How am I supposed to know who's the next dark lord and how in the world am I'm supposed to kill him, without getting sent to Azkaban!" Harry exclaimed.

"Calm down, you won't get sent to Azkaban trust me; me and fate know what we are doing. The signs of the next dark lord are very simple. It will be boy; he will be exceptionally good at all his classes, very powerful. He will be someone you do not know from your world, there are quite a few, you will not know what year or house he is in. He will not necessarily have the appearance of evil but will be very secretive and closed off. The last but most important is he will have a long birthmark of a snake running down his back, a sign that he can speak to snakes, be careful, it is most likely he is in slytherin, but you will never know." Said the man.

"What happens after I finish this task, what happens if I don't" asked Harry, trying to get all the facts straight.

"If you do you will be sent automatically to the afterlife, But if you don't you will remain there, all through his reign, until you and all those with you die and still be sent to the afterlife, but the latter will not be a pleasant death." Said the man gravely.

"Ummm, yeah okay, so err…when do I start?" asked Harry.

"Right now would be good, just say the word and I'll send you there, you'll land right in front of Sirius and Remus' house, I believe they are waiting for you, to get everything situated. I'm sure they are excited to see you, but you will look younger, remember that. Don't give your identity away to easily, James and Lily I'm sure you can trust but do not go beyond that. Oh yes, I'll visit you in dreams occasionally to warn you and what-not."

Harry nodded, a stood there for a minute, a perplexed look on his face, He stared at the man.

"Erm, not to bother you or anything..." he started; the man looked at him with a smile, with something like mischief in his eyes.

"Yes?" the man answered.

"Well, err, what's the word I have to-"before he could finish he felt himself swirling away. Harry rolled his eyes at this, looking at the man who was smirking.

"Oh, how creative, the word was 'the word'." Harry though blandly, as he spiraled out of Limbo.

A/N: All my readers, if you were wondering why it was taking so long to update my other story, it's because I've started this one. I'm sure you'll be pleased to see a new story. All my new readers check out my other fics, I'm sure you'll enjoy them. This one will be a little darker, with more angst. Remember, don't assume anything, this chapter was kind of short for my liking, but hey it's just an introduction, nothing fancy.

Please read and review, it would be appreciated!


	2. The Things We Love For

A/N: You know I don't think I could do any stories without writing it in first person; At least I have a signature writing, I'll add different POVs in this fic!

Disclaimer: I will, must, have to; remember to add these to my fics, so all and everything I have written in Harry potter fan fiction are based on the books of our very well loved J.K. Rowling! w00t

I fell flat on the floor after the swirl of colors, that transported me ended, trying to regain my senses I pinched the bridge of my nose. I got up; swooning a little bit, but I caught myself. I dusted myself off a bit, and looked around to see my surroundings. It was huge, it was a very big house, I was shorter, much shorter, and I was thirteen. This was so weird. I was afraid to speak, afraid to hear the same scratchy voice a thirteen year old has.

I continued to look at that house, I took a step, suddenly fear enveloped me. "How can I do this?" I asked myself, "I killed them, they'll hate me, why should I ruin their peace, I'll ruin everything." I thought disappointedly, "they'll hate me, I can't do this!". I paced back and forth repeating the same sentence, glancing at the big oak double doors. The memories came again; I was willing the memories away, why couldn't they have gotten rid of these stupid memories! I stopped pacing, sat on the floor and stared at the doors. The memories, flashing by, tears ran down my face, I put my head in my hands, they'll hate me, I just, I just can't do this.

Sirius POV

"What's taking him so long, Moony!" I asked Remus, once again, I wondered briefly how he could be so patient, maybe I should stop asking the same question repeatedly, NAH. Remus looked at me, and raised one eyebrow.

"Sirius, it may take awhile, you know how long it takes to explain these types of things, and Harry is prone to ask many questions" Remus answered, again, for the millionth time.

"I know, but I haven't seen him, for like, forever! I haven't been there for him, what if he hates me!" I asked, my worries surfacing again.

"He won't hate you, he loved you more than you know, and he was devastated when you fell through the veil." Remus said. I sighed, and looked at my hands.

"I guess, I just wish I was there for him for the whole war, when I saw that you died, I couldn't take it, how can he take so much!" I asked.

"He's a strong kid, easy to love." Said Remus, I agreed whole-heartedly. I got up and started pacing.

"What's taking him so long!" I asked again, this time Remus sighed and gave me a look, okay one million one was his breaking point, got to remember that.

"If it'll make you feel any better why don't you wait outside." Remus suggested, good idea!

"Yeah okay, I'll go do that." I said, heading to the entranceway, I opened the big oak doors, I was about to take a step out when I saw a mop of black hair. The person was sitting on the floor, looking down. I stepped inside real quick and whispered harshly.

"Moony!" Remus walked over to me with a "what now?" face.

"Look, is that who I think it is?" I asked, eagerly. Remus looked out, he nodded with a smile, but it quickly turned into a frown.

"What's he doing?" Remus asked, concern creeping into his voice. Remus had gotten closer to Harry, when Sirius fell through the veil, and quite frankly this worried him…..a lot.

Remus and I stared at the short boy, the now thirteen-year-old boy. Sitting on the floor. His shoulders started to shake, and we knew instantly that he was not happy at all.

I ran to him, putting my arms around him. He stiffened immediately.

Harry POV

I tried to hold the crying in; I never grieved like most people. I usually, felt the pain right when they died, then put on a hard façade, till it broke. It broke, my shoulders started to shake, the memories all the memories. I lost everyone, now I had them back and all I could do was cry, for I couldn't imagine them loving me, when I was the reason they died.

I felt arms wrap around me, my reflexes kicked in and I stiffened immediately. The hug felt oddly familiar, a memory of me in the hospital wing right after the third task, a memory of leaving for the trial, when I used magic on the dementors, the memory of me leaving right after Christmas, in my fifth year. The same hug, same smell, same warmth, it was Sirius, he was hugging me.

Did people who hate you hug you? I asked myself, trying to calm down.

"Shh, Harry, it's going to be okay." He said softly.

Did people who hate you comfort you? I asked myself, slowly calming down.

"I love you Harry, you're like the son I never had." Sirius said, I calmed down right after that. I composed myself, and looked at Sirius, he looked younger, like Azkaban never existed, so did Remus; was he a werewolf anymore? Sirius helped me up, I dusted myself off. Remus gave me a one-armed hug, and one of his famous reassuring smiles.

"I've missed you so much, I can't say you've grown, but you're size has changed." Sirius said, I smiled, half-heartedly. I looked at the house; it was big, huge, get-lost-in big!

"Wow that old guy went all out for you guys, didn't he?" I said, as my voice echoed through the house, I was slightly startled by this.

"Yeah he did a lot, to make us agree with him. Hermione and Ron are dying to see you again though; I remember when Hermione came to the afterlife, she practically screaming at the old guy to send her back. It was Ron who calmed her down." Said Sirius.

"Yeah I missed you guys, a lot. It- it was hard to fight with so little." I said. Sirius and Remus smiled comfortingly.

"It was hard for us too. The afterlife may be great, but things weren't them same." Remus said.

"Did you meet my mum and dad up there?" I asked, that was one reason I wanted to die.

"Oh yes, they wanted to be with you so bad, they wanted to come here, but the old guy wouldn't let them, I had to hold back Sirius, he was about to knock his face out." Said Remus. I sighed; I wish I could have met them, right before I left. I thought.

"Don't worry Harry; I'm sure here will be nice. In this reality, you died and killed off ol' Voldie when you were just one, and we died from trying to save you. This will be quite a shock for James and Lily. But You, Remus and I need to be in disguise so the secret doesn't get out." Said Sirius, I half expected Remus to say that. I nodded, excited about meeting my parents, even if it was in a different reality.

We toured the house, my room was big, it was done in Gryffindor colors, I wasn't surprised, we were all Gryffindors in this house. I walked into my room, and laid on my bed. Looking at the ceiling, I got lost in my thoughts, I figured that Sirius and Remus sensed that I needed time alone, I heard them leave.

Remus POV

Sirius looked forlorn as he closed the door. I had a good idea what was bothering him, and gave him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder. We walked to one of the many sitting rooms, and I sat down on one of the chairs as Sirius plopped down on the sofa. He looked at me sadly,

"I don't know what to do, it's like he's broken apart beyond fixing1 I should've been smarter, and kept my guard up, I should've been there for him, and not fallen through the veil!" Sirius exclaimed, of course he was blaming himself again. I put my hand up,

"Sirius, it's not just you, he's had a lot taken from him, be here for him now, don't ponder the "what ifs." He's been through so much; he doesn't need you to be guilty of things he probably doesn't even blame you for. If I know Harry, and I do, he's probably blaming himself. What kind of example are you setting, doing the exact same thing? Be strong Sirius, be strong for him." I said, looking at him encouragingly.

He sat silently, and looked at me with determination, and nodded, something I would expect from my old friend.

"You're right moony." He said, smiling.

"When am I not right," I said playfully, Sirius just grinned and got up.

"I'm going to check on Harry, and get some sleep. We're going to the Weasleys tomorrow, we have a lot of preparations to do." Said Sirius. I nodded, and took a book that was on a side table. I was trying to sort my mind out, a book would put me at ease, I watched Sirius head out, I was left alone to my thoughts. All my thoughts were mainly on Harry, he's changed so much, but is still so much like himself. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days where he was sneaking out of Hogwarts to go to hogsmeade with his friends.

Now, smiles seem so rare, and true happiness happens so little. I wish I could give it all to him, I guess that is what many would wish. Now, he's going to see his parents, I wonder how Lily and James are fairing here, without us that is, I wonder if they had any kids. I would think they would. It would probably not be good to let all of our life on them, especially Harry's; we'll have to take this a little bit at a time. Not just with them, but we got open up Harry, and help him a little bit at a time.

I sighed and opened my book, getting enraptured, in the intellectual intricacies.

Sirius POV

I walked down the hallway, my room directly across Harry's; I knocked softly on Harry's room, and opened the door slowly. Harry was there, sleeping on his bed, he seemed restless. I drew closer, I watched his face scrunch up, and he was sweating all over. He was mouthing words, and tears fell from his face. I rarely saw Harry cry, it shook me up to see him do it twice in one day; well maybe while he's asleep didn't count. I cared for him so much; I wanted to be there for him.

I snaked my hands under his back and laid his head on my lap. He was so much younger, but so old. He seemed to never get a peaceful sleep; he seemed to calm down a bit with me near. I brushed away his tears, and ran my hands through his hair. His face relaxed a little but his body was so tense. I thought of song Lily used to sing, I know it sounded so corny, but seeing him right now, I couldn't help but feel paternal.

Fall away

Rock into slumber

Let your imagination soar

Don't let your heart encumber

Your dreams

I remembered the first time I saw him, they asked me if I was the father, I just laughed and pointed at James who fainted to the ground. The nurse blushed, and revived him.

They put him in my arms, and my breath was taken. He became apart of me, he was like a son. I came to their house everyday, making up silly excuses, just to visit him. The Potters just looked at me with knowing smiles, as I spun little Harry around.

For I am here, to hold you near

I am here, to wipe away your tears

I am here to wash away your fears

You are my very own, you are mine

With you the world stops, there isn't time

Let your soul rest

In the bed of divinities

Take your sword on imaginary quests

And fall off into unknown worlds

Let your spirits fly away

Over vast mountains

Let your mind drift and stay

Doze into the life's fountains

When I saw him in that rubble, his parents gone, I vowed to protect him, to be there. But he was taken from me. I was so miserable, I wasn't thinking, it was Pettigrew's fault this happened. I was driven by my sorrow I sought out for the rat, He won, I was unjustly imprisoned, and I had failed Harry. I lost hope for a while; it took a newspaper, and Harry's name to revive that paternal fire.

For I am here, to hold you near

I am here, to wipe away your tears

I am here, to wash away your fears

You are my very own, you are mine

With you the world stops, there isn't time

Close your eyes and be pulled away

Into the land you were led astray

Grab on to the lullabies

Of anxious muses

Who try

To take the world you insist on holding

Let it go, let your heart have molding

Don't resist your tired urges

Faint away into the deep

Take all the time to heart's content and

Let yourself sleep

When I saw him, at Hogwarts, he was everything I wanted in a son, even more so. He became my pride; he looked to me as father. He confided in me when he wasn't sure of himself. When I heard that he went right into Voldemort's trap, I had to keep my promise, but I ended up breaking it, with my foolishness. It won't happen again.

For I am here to hold you near

I am here, to wipe away your tears

I am here, to wash away your fears

You are my very own, you are mine

With you the world stops, there isn't time

My voice faded, as I saw Harry, sleeping peacefully. He seemed so much younger. I loved him, from now on; I'll never let anything hurt him. I'll never leave him all alone, without any will to live. He's all I got, him and Remus, they're my family, and I'll do everything to protect them.

For I am here to hold you near

I am here, to wipe away you tears

I am here, to wash away your fears

You are my very own, you are mine

With you the world stops, there isn't time

A/N: yet again, an immensely short chapter, well in my terms it is, 2500 words, is kind of short for me when I'm used to 3500-5000….lol I know the ending was kind of corny, but I wanted to add to the angst a bit, and give off the feelings of the three. I hope you like the different POVs….and the little song I made. It didn't take me too long I used one of my poems and morphed it into a song/lullaby; I thought it would fit well in here. I hope you guys are enjoying this! Thanks for reading, please review!

Side note: AHH finally, this sites been down for 2 days! I've had this written up for two whole days! evil!

Reviewers!

Atrista Starr: Thank you very much, I'm a big, alternate dimension fan along with a Sirius fan, anyway to get Sirius alive and kicking, I'll write it, so I wanted to give a unique flare to it, I do it with all my stories. Lol. Thanks for reviewing!

Ickle-princess: my loyal reviewer, you and me, we shall rule the world, with our write and review techniques…lol thanks for reading and reviewing!  I'm updating my other fic soon, it's kind of fun to write two fics at once…lol


	3. The Things We Remember For

Disclaimer- Nothing related to Harry Potter is mine, all of this belongs to our Well-respected Author J.K. Rowling:)

Harry's POV

I woke up slightly groggy; going to sleep in the afternoon does that to you. I was disoriented, and was trying to regain my senses. I got off the bed and was startled, the world got bigger, for some unknown reason. Was someone playing a joke on me or something?

A few minutes passed as I tried to figure out where the heck I was, till the day finally came to me. OOOh yes that's right, I'm thirteen, I'm short, scrawny, and underage……greaaatttt. I thought sarcastically. What was strange was I still had all the scars from seventeen-year-old self, almost eighteen. I felt oddly relaxed, rested for once. I hadn't slept peacefully since Remus died, and barely slept at all since Hermione died. Stupid, stupid, get those thoughts out of your head.

I kept up bringing this stuff at the worst times, they're alive now, and just keep saying that to yourself and maybe you'll believe this isn't all a dream. I sat on my bed, how come I, out of all people, get the best friends in the world, the most affectionate, protective guardians, and the most intelligent, powerful mentors in the universe, and they all seem to die on me when I needed them most. I always wondered if this was life taunting me.

No matter how much I tried to get the depressing thoughts out of my head, it was difficult, after over two years of thinking of the same thing over and over, having no one to go to, was difficult. After Sirius fell through the veil, I closed up, it took Remus hours of prying to get one thing out of me, it took Hermione locking me up in a room for ten hours to get me to breakdown, and open up a little.

I wondered if maybe being thirteen, it was harder to suppress emotions, harder to hide them. It's probably why I've broken down so much. I remembered when I was thirteen; I guess I did have a hard time controlling my emotions. By the time I was sixteen, I habitually had a stoic exterior, except when I was really, angry, or if someone died.

I sat on my bed, giving up trying to get the thoughts out of my head. It was dark outside, it must be late, I didn't see a clock around. Being thirteen made me feel so much more alone and afraid. I know it sounded childish, but I don't know how to handle my emotions anymore. Even though I woke up rested, I felt exhausted from my thoughts, I felt overwhelmed and strained. I clenched my fists trying to overcome this, but it was to no avail. I was to tired to fight the emotions, I just let them wash over me like tide from the ocean, I let the quiet tears fall as I drifted off into a weary sleep.

/Vision/

It was white again, and I felt like my older self, I guess this is a vision or something. The old, extremely old, guy appeared. I gave him a half-hearted smile. He smile warmly at me, and ushered me to sit on a couch that suddenly solidified out of nowhere. I sat down, discreetly inching as far from him as possible. What? The guy creeps me out, he's waaay to old, and with my experience, the older you are the more slightly off-balanced you get.

"Hello, Mr. Potter, how are you doing as your thirteen-year-old-self?" he said, with a strange smile, that I couldn't tell if it was sincere or a smirk through all his wrinkles. I really hope he can't read my mind, because he'd be in for a surprise, by my less-than-polite comments.

"Bloody annoying, I tell you!" I sneered, sounding like Ron for a second. He looked confused, but I wasn't tricked, he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"What ever do you mean?" he said with a hint of amusement. I glared at him,

"Being thirteen, I can't handle any of my emotions, why couldn't I just be bloody seventeen!" I said, with a hint of frustration.

"Oh I was going to leave you your age, and make you a teacher at Hogwarts, but Dumbledore had splendid Idea. He said that you should be thirteen, so you could go through a healing process, at thirteen you were very carefree, and not until your fourth year did you start hiding your emotions. So being thirteen, you'll be able to heal from all the pain you went through in the war. Smart, young, lad that Dumbledore is." The old man chuckled. I almost laughed at him calling Dumbledore young, but then I was slightly angry that they made me thirteen, with my old thirteen-year-old's emotional endurance.

"You listened to Dumbledore! Don't you know he's crazy, I mean he has an addiction to lemon drops, who is their right mind is addicted to lemon drops! You should have stuck with you plan!" I said, angrily, getting no reaction from him, I gradually felt a bit put out.

"Actually, I quite liked it…" he said, amusement dancing in his eyes. I snorted and crossed my arms. We stared at each other for a bit, sensing an ending he clapped his hands.

"Well now that that's settled, I think it'd be a good time for a farewell, and you can go back to you're real dreams." He said, waving his hands and I started to fade away.

I was surprised, but really not at all that excited about getting to my dreams, with one last wave I popped into my dreams.

Sirius POV

After watching Harry sleep soundly for a while I went to go and get some rest. I was a bit emotionally drained, and thought it be good to get some sleep. I woke a few hours later to the smell of a food. I dragged myself out of bed and walked slowly downstairs, Remus was setting down food on the table.

"What time s'it?" I asked, trying to shake the sleepiness off, to bleary eyed to read any clock correctly.

"It's seven." He said shortly, trying to pick up something hot.

"At night?" I asked, slightly surprised, that I slept the whole afternoon; Remus just looked at me and raised his eyebrow.

"Yes, last time I checked." He said dryly. I sighed, and plopped heavily on a chair.

"How's Harry?" Remus asked, all joking aside. I looked at him, like I didn't know what he was saying, and suddenly just woke up.

"Oh yes Harry, he seems overwhelmed I guess, I wonder if he wants to eat anything." I said getting up, suddenly wide-awake, Remus nodded, taking out plates. I walked upstairs, and enter his room slowly, light flowing a little in the room.

He was still asleep; I guess he was really tired. I walked up to him, there were a few stray tears running down his face. I sighed and wiped the away; I straightened the blankets and looked at him. He'll have to open sometime; I just wish he didn't think he had to cry when no one was looking. I caressed him slightly, and ran my hand through his hair. His face relaxed some-what. I always had a habit of feeling comforted watching him in his sleep, no one saw me, but I always watched him in his sleep when he was in Grimauld's place.

I closed the door quietly, and walked down stairs. Remus looked up from his plate.

"Did Harry want any food?" he asked, I just sat down.

"No, he was still asleep." I said, picking at my food a bit.

"He should really eat, he's far too skinny," Remus said, I snorted.

"Well he is thirteen, and wasn't he that skinny at thirteen." I said, trying to look through my thoughts to see if I remembered.

"Yeah, I guess, but you know Harry's eating habits, especially when the war started, he barely ate at all; I had to practically breathe down his neck to get him to eat something." Remus said; I nodded understandingly.

"Don't worry Moony, He can eat in the morning, he just looked so tired today, I didn't have the heart to wake him." I said, eating my food, Remus just shrugged. He always did that when he was deep in thought.

Remus POV

I looked at Sirius, who remained in a contemplative state, as I am doing the same. It seemed Harry was the forefront of our thoughts, when is he not. He was always, very…err…interesting, always had something for other people to pull their hair out in worry.

It was wonder why we weren't bald yet, plus now I guess Dumbledore did predict correctly, Harry opened up more, more than I could ever get out of him, he was always so closed up. I sat there recollect Harry's innumerable times of trying my patience, as I tried to get him to open up, to give me an iota of what he was thinking, To give me something other than "Fine" for the question "How are you feeling?"

He seemed very out of it today, probably exhausted, seeing how he's slept the day away. He'll probably have more energy in the morning, Ron and Hermione were getting impatient, and they'd probably lift his spirits. I always like watching Harry smile as he quietly spectated, Hermione and Ron's antics.

I stood up to get the place presentable for Ron and Hermione, The Weasleys and the Grangers thought that Ron and Hermione were on an exchange student summer program. They both were going to see the newest exchange student and spend a week with him. Harry was the exchange student. Dumbledore arranged this, sometimes I wondered if Dumbledore was a Slytherin, he could be so sneaky, and make up the best lies.

After I finished seeing if there were rooms ready for Ron Hermione I retired to my room.

Sirius had left to go to his room quite a while ago, I could tell because I could hear his snoring across the hall. I rolled my eyes, as I entered my room.

Sirius POV

I got up, early in the morning, around 7 am, Remus was up, and the House elves had already prepared breakfast. Remus looked up at me as I came downstairs.

"Is Harry awake, he's been sleeping for a while." He said, I could tell he was concerned. I shrugged, and trudged back upstairs to check on Harry. I knocked on the door, expecting silence but I heard Harry's voice say, "Come in" I opened the door slowly, and quietly walked in, all the shades were closed and Harry was reading a book, with his bedside lamp on. He was already washed up and dressed, and just glanced at me and smiled.

"Merlin Harry, it's dark in here, open up these shades." I said, as opened the shades, the bright light from the sun spread out throughout the room.

"AAAh, Sirius!" Harry said, covering his eyes, trying to block out the light. I snorted,

"What are you, a vampire?" I asked, opening the last shade.

"Yes, and I'll suck your blood, if you don't close the shades." He said, in a Transylvanian accent. I looked at him confused,

"What's with the accent?" I asked. He took his hand off his eyes, and looked at me,

"Oh, a muggle thing, usually that's what vampires sound like, to muggles that is." Said Harry.

"Oh, well I would've done an imitation of Snape, if I were you." I said smirking, Harry smiled at this. I like his smile, heck I like everything about the boy.

"Well, Moonys got some food downstairs, so come down to breakfast." I said, staring down at him, he shrugged.

"I'm really not all that hungry," he said, I crossed my arms, and stared at him.

"Harry you hadn't eaten anything yesterday, so you're eating today, Moony is right, you're much to skinny to be skipping meals." I said, firmly.

"Siriussss, I did eat something yesterday." He said, looking every bit like a stubborn thirteen-year-old.

"Really, what?" I said, giving him a piercing stare, as if I could see right through him. He shifted nervously,

"Erm….a chocolate frog." He said, looking away, I just laughed at this.

"Oh yes Harry, that's a perfect nutritional meal, nope you're eating, c'mon." I said, trying to pull him up.

"It was a really big chocolate frog, bigger than usual." He said, grabbing for his book. I took his book away.

"I don't care if it weighed a million stones, you're eating breakfast, and you're not getting this book till you do." I said, mentally, grimacing of sounding like a parent. Well, I sounded a whole like an overprotective parent in his fourth year. Harry sighed, and got up, deftly dodged my hand as I tried to ruffle his hair, and he went downstairs to all the food.

Harry's POV

Once I was downstairs, Remus got up and gave me a one-armed hug, leading me to the table. I sighed, as Sirius came down the stairs. I really wasn't all that hungry, actually, I wasn't really ever a hungry. I was always so busy with the war and school; I didn't have time to worry about trivial things like sleep and eating.

It seems everyone, thought otherwise, hmmm…strange. I stared at the food that was prepared for me, and started picking at it. I was eating some toast when I heard the someone fall out of the floo, I turned around to see Ron dusting himself off, only to get dirty again, by being toppled over by Hermione. Hermione blushed, quickly got up, and helped him up, apologizing profusely. Ron just continued to dust himself off, claiming he was fine.

"Ron! Hermione!" I exclaimed, hopping hastily out of my chair and hugging them both. When I let go, Hermione had tears on he face and Ron's eyes were watery. They were both thirteen, and still great as ever. I was happier than I had been in years.

"How are you guys, I've missed you so much!" I said anxiously, they both smiled widely.

"It's brilliant to see you mate! We've both missed you, Hermione was hysterical when she died." Ron said, Hermione elbowed him painfully in the side, causing me to smile again, they always made my happy.

"Ron! Don't say stuff like that, before we catch up you should eat Harry, you've barely touched you food." Said Hermione, pointing at my plate, back to her bossy self.

"That's what I was about to say." Sirius said from the table, I snorted, and looked at my food, with a disgusted facial expression.

"Hey, I'm hungry; I haven't eaten in a while!" Ron said, Hermione stared at him.

"Ron, you ate this morning, in case you're forgotten." Hermione said. Ron just shrugged and took a seat at the table, piling his plate with food.

"Thirty minutes _is_ a long time." He mumbled.

"Well I'm really not that hungry, you know." I said, ignoring Ron.

"Harry, eat, that excuse, will not get you out of eating." Said Sirius,

"Maybe you should do what I do, lock him in a room, till he gets so bored he'll finally eat." Said Hermione, her eyes dancing with laughter.

"Good Idea…hmmm…" Sirius said, smiling deviously. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, fine I'll eat, Merlin, you guys act like I'm going to die if I skip one meal." I said, sitting down quickly.

"Actually it's the fact that you skipped all of yesterday's meals that made us a tad bit worried." Remus said wryly. Ron and Hermione snorted at this. I just rolled my eyes, yet again, and tried to finish my food. Keyword was trying….

After about a half-hour of small talk and four people breathing down my neck, okay Ron really wasn't breathing down my neck, he was too focused on eating, but that's not the point. After a half-hour, I finished most of my food, and I wasn't going to eat anymore. Lock me in a cellar for all I care, I'm not going to eat anymore.

"I'm done." I said curtly, I stared defiantly at everyone, daring them to tell me to eat more, Remus sighed and took my plate, Sirius coughed, sounding vaguely like a laugh, Hermione rolled her eyes, and Ron just shrugged. I quirked an eyebrow, at the strange reactions, but let it go.

"Hey, you guys want to catch up, in my room or something." I said, getting tired of sitting with all this food. Both of them nodded and we went up my room. We enter my room and I flopped on my bed, closing my eyes for a second. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I got tired easily. I would guess it would have to do with the fact that my thirteen-year-old self, was trying to catch up with my seventeen-year-old self. It was certainly a struggle, emotionally and physically.

Ron's POV

Hermione and I sat on Harry's bed, I missed him so much. I saw him close his eyes briefly; he looked so tired, when he did that. Hermione and I were talking about him earlier, well it was more Hermione, My "Family" was surprised when Hermione came through the fire, I really don't know why. Maybe Hermione and me aren't that close in this reality. I couldn't imagine it, Hermione was brilliant!

Hermione was ranting this afternoon, how worried she was for Harry, It had been almost a year since I last saw him, for Hermione it was four months. I don't know how many times I wanted to throw stuff, when I got to watch Harry from the afterlife, he was so broken, but he wouldn't show anyone, we only got to see Harry once in awhile, there was a bloody limit. Hermione tried a million ways to get around that rule. She wanted to see Harry every second of the day. Every time I watched him, my heart panged painfully and I grew irritated with my naive self that had the audacity to actually, be envious of everything he had gone through.

Sirius some times would demand to go back down there. James, Harry's dad, would have to calm him down. I'm sure Harry's dad had felt the same way when he first went up. He seemed very overprotective of his son also. I saw someone's hand wave in front of me, and I blinked.

"Helloooo?" asked Harry, with a slightly confused and obviously amused look on his face.

"Oh sorry about that, got lost in my thoughts." I said, distractedly.

"Ron, thinking, I've seen all of it now." Harry said, giving a real smile. I shoved him,

"Oh shove it, Potter." I said, my lips threatening to form into a smile. Hermione giggled a bit.

Hermione's POV

It's been such a long time since I'd seen Harry joke around. He was very peculiar when the war drew near, and more people died in his life. I remember when it was just me and him, I cried for hours, while he just tensed up when ever something reminded him of Ron, or Remus, or Sirius. It was absolutely, dreadful.

I hoped that Harry would heal, though he was younger, you could still see the hurt in his eyes, the eyes that would never truly be happy. I just hope that his reality isn't harsh on him. I'll have to look up a book on alternate realities, I read a bit about them, just for fun in my fourth year. I watched Harry tell Ron about the quidditch games, as we tried to fill in the blanks of what happened, while Ron and I were gone. Ron almost cried when he was told that he missed the cannons winning a few games. I thought it was pathetic, I mean honestly!

My mind wandered to the task that Harry has got to complete, a horrid thing to do. I just hope it doesn't prove to be too difficult; I'll probably have to look up some stuff to make this task easier. I'll help Harry point out clues and outline the students, the male ones that is.

I listened thoughtfully to Harry's reenactment of minor events, and Ron listening dutifully. He seemed to avoid all things about the war and whatnot. He avoided our deaths, and Voldemort, and anything about his life in general. I mentally sighed; I know he'll have to tell us someday.

Harry's POV

We caught up some, and I gradually got more tired, mainly from trying to avoid all hard topics while desperately attempting to control my emotions. I believe my friends sensed my tiredness, for Hermione excused herself to get a book or something, and Ron said something about getting something to eat.

I nodded, and watched them leave, yawning a bit. I look at my bed and wondered if it had a sleeping charm on it. It would be just like Sirius to do that. I stared at the wall, screwing my eyes shut, I experienced so many emotions by just seeing my best friends, they seemed to be trying to be careful around me, and I didn't mind much, it was better than Ron's usual bluntness.

I remembered distantly that I was reading an interesting book, and groped for my book. I looked at the bedside table, and remembered that Sirius took my book. I sighed in frustration, as I planned my revenge for him not returning book after breakfast.

A/N: Okaaaay, finished, took me too long in my terms, but I was busy, very busy. For all you other people who read my other story, I'll update it as soon as possible. Action will come up more, not as much as my other story, for this more of a focus on angst, and drama….lots of drama….so get ready! Please Review!

Reviewers.

Ickle-Princess: Thank you, very much. I appreciated your enthusiasm! Thanks for reviewing!

Shadow00: Lol, I'm glad, Yay a new reviewer, dances around Thanks for reviewing, here's your update:)


End file.
